Thursday, April 07, 2005

Shrillness Vacation Report

Yes, the members of the Order are phoning this in live, from middle-America, where we've been taking a long deserved vacation from reality.

Who else is taking a vacation? Why, it's former Secretary of State Colin Powell, who isn't answering his phone because he's on a beach. Wait, no, he isn't on a beach, he just isn't answering the phone because then he might have to explain why he isn't recommending John Balton for the job of U.N. ambassador.

Does he secretly love John but not feel comfortable recommending a guy who admits to getting his "information" from groups that State has classified as terrorist groups?

Or could it be that he thinks the appointment of someone who has been so openly hostile to the U.N. would only confirm the rest of the world's rather tenuous opinion of us? Who's to say? Why not send Nixon to China? Well, other than that Nixon is dead. But Kofi might be up for some ping-pong.

So, for extreme indifference in the line of a job reference check, we hereby induct former Secretary of State Powell, Order of the Shrill, Order of the Shill, into the Order of the I Didn't Bring My Cell Phone I'm On Vacation, and the Order For Another Pina Colada.